Chapter 8
Talk Outlines
Talkshop Questions
The following outlines and questions are meant to be an aid, but not restricting. The talk need not fit the outline exactly as each person giving a talk is different. It is important, however, that the purpose of the talk be met.
Talks should be personal:
· Use the word I, not you. It makes the difference between a lecture and a personal sharing.
· Use personal examples and stories to pull in the listeners. When we listen to stories, we find ourselves in them.
· Use songs, props, poems and whatever else you can think of to reinforce your talk.
· Have fun giving your talk, don’t worry no one is expecting an expert speaker.
Talkshop Questions
These questions are again a guideline and can be used to encourage discussion in the large group setting. You don’t have to get to every question. The co-hosts are the facilitators of the large groups and can adjust accordingly to how the discussions are going.
Talk #3 What's your game plan?
PURPOSE:
To admit and to face the fact that we do play games in our relationships. To begin to do something about not playing games
OUTLINE.
a) Show two patterns of behavior, which often lead you to play games with others.
b) Explain your reactions, positive and negative, to belonging to another.
Suggestions:
This is a good talk for someone that has never given a talk before. This is usually given by a single young adult.
Some examples of past talks have dealt with playing macho games by being disrespectful to women or not telling them how you really feel about them. Another one is giving someone the silent treatment because you are hurt or upset with them.
Talk Shop#3 What's your game plan?
What game do you play with your parents?
What do you need to do to stop playing your game, whether it be with family, the person you are going with, or your fellow parishioners?
Is the game you play with God or with Church similar in any way with the one you play with others?
What games do you see played around you most often? Describe them and their impact on relationships.
What Games do People Play?
Read slowly and thoughtfully.
Daily in television and movies we are bombarded with images of seemingly “perfect” people. These individuals have perfect bodies, perfect relationships, perfect jobs, perfect homes, perfect love lives - the list is endless. It is so easy to compare ourselves with these individuals and to feel that we don’t measure up. These feelings of insecurity can cause us to pretend we are someone we are not. When we pretend to be someone we are not, we are playing games. Being authentic is difficult. We are afraid if we are honest about are thoughts and feelings that people will reject us. We often hide our true feelings because of a strong need to be accepted. What we fail to realize is that only in being open and honest with others can we develop meaningful intimate relationships with ourselves, others and God.
Part of being human is the desire to cover up our flaws and insecurities. We will never be fully free from this desire. God knows this about us and understands us because God made us. In spite of our attempts to hide, and maybe in part because of them, God loves us deeply enough to die for us, flawed as we are. He shows us His love in our times of prayer and through the understanding of those around us.
The road from insecurity to authenticity begins as we surround ourselves with positive people who love us unconditionally. It also comes through understanding how much God loves us, guides us and cares about what happens in our lives. Psalm 139 indicates that God surrounds us with love and care:
Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit or stand. When far away you know my every thought. You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment, you know where I am. You know what I am going to say before I even say it. You both precede and follow me, and place your hand of blessing on my head.
With this knowledge, we can begin to build a self esteem which helps us to be authentic and honest with our feelings. We gradually stop fearing rejection as we realize how much we are unconditionally loved.
As best you can explain your reaction.
Some Things To Face
Complete the following sentences:
The games I play most often are...
I am most often not honest with my feelings…
My greatest strengths are...
The areas where I feel weakest are…
Solo Exercise
The Two House Builders
Any man who desires to come to me will hear my words and act on them. I will show you with whom he is to be compared. He may be likened to the man who, in building a house, dug deeply and laid the foundation on a rock. When the floods came the torrent rushed in on that house, but failed to shake it because of its solid foundation. On the other hand, anyone who has heard my words but not put them into practice is like the man who built his house on the ground without any foundation. When the torrent rushed upon it, it immediately fell in and was completely destroyed (Luke 6:47-49).
1.Are your relationships built upon sand or rock? Choose one and explain why.
2.List the names of those persons in your immediate family with whom you have relationships that have lasted through good times and bad.
3.Describe the best thing you could do to make your present relationships more solid and free of games.