Prayer for a Choices Weekend
Lord Jesus Christ,
You told the apostles
to retire to a desert place and rest a while.
We are taking this time to follow Your example,
grant that we may obtain all the fruits
that we can from this weekend.
Enable us to make it in union with You,
to know ourselves better and to get closer to You.
Help us to listen attentively,
to ponder prayerfully
and to speak wisely.
Let us emerge from this weekend
as more committed Christians,
better equipped to advance along the paths
that You have laid out for each of us.
adapted from Prayer for a Retreat: New Saint Joseph’s People’s prayer book
The Choices Experience is designed for single young adults of any faith background. Choices is not a traditional religious retreat, it is an encounter, an experience, a chance to listen, share, and build friendships. The focus of the weekend is on relationships and how they affect one’s life. Choices addresses the meaning of “relationship” for the single young adult. The weekend is designed to stimulate a positive response within the young adult. Choices also attempts to foster an environment of trust with other young adults.
The retreat is built around a series of sessions consisting of short readings, talks, small and large group discussions, and moments of quiet reflection spread over the weekend. The group gathers early Friday evening and departs Sunday afternoon or evening. The group size often varies.
The weekend is centered on eight talks that offer an informal fresh look at “Who we are” and “Where we are going”. Single young adults, married couples, a priest and a religious or a committed single gives the talks. They are of a personal nature and are preceeded by a short article or essay that each participant reads. The essays are followed by written questions, that we will answer on our own, prior to hearing the talk, and which can be shared in small group discussions. After the talks there are large group discussions where new questions are introduced and talked about in a group setting. We will also be given solo exercises to work through on our own during quiet times. This format helps us to build up to being able to share with the group. The readings or essays try to break through some of the stereotypes prevalent in today’s society. The written questions give us something to think about and allow us to write out how we feel. The talks show us that someone else might have the same feelings that we do, and we can be encouraged to share through hearing speakers who are openly sharing their own personal experiences with the group. The group discussions then permit us to become comfortable with sharing our own thoughts with people.
The first purpose of the Choices program is to explore with single adults the meaning of “relationship”: the consequences and conditions of belonging, and asking “Do I want to belong?” The program is meant to show the privilege we have to belong to another. It helps bring us face to face with how we are “belonging” in relationships that we presently have with others. We examine who we are and how we behave in our relationships with family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, church and God. In so doing, the program also attacks the assumption in society that tells single us we must be separate and independent from everyone else. Though self-reliance is a virtue, it too often seems over emphasized. The maturing process, however, requires that we must reconcile our dependence on others with our independence from others.
During the Choices weekend, we are given an opportunity to examine the direction our lives are going. We are presented with the opportunity to make a choice. It is no coincidence that this weekend experience is called Choices. The weekend deals with subjects important to the young Christian adult such as “Are you really listening?”, “What’s your game plan?”, “Who wants to belong to me?”, and “Do you make a difference?”. Choices is not considered a traditional religious retreat. It is an experience of understanding one’s self with the assistance of many other young adults.
The second purpose of the Choices program is to encourage a positive response, in single young adults, to the ongoing mission of the Church and to involve us in definite and specific apostolic ventures. Many young adults are not aware of the many opportunities or vocations available to them other than being a priest, sister or brother, or spouse. In answering God’s call to belong to others, we should also recognize the call to serve others throughout our entire lives, regardless of the vocation we choose.
This manual was originally written by Theresa Gabriel and Nora Carlson in 1988 with the help of several others. It was then adapted from a previously copyrighted book authored by Fr. Tom Morrow. The copyright has expired, and Fr. Tom has given his blessings to the work. This manual has also borrowed from the TEC Team Manual with permission. In 1997 this manual was rewritten in its present form through a group effort by the participants and team members of various Choices retreats over the years. The 'Intimacy in Relationships' essay was re-written in 2000. Those using these materials are requested to become a part of the Choices Worldwide Network, which, we pray, will aid all of us in our ministries. For more information please contact:
Choices Worldwide Network
c/o Pro Sanctity Retreat Center
11002 204th Street
Elkhorn, NE 68002